On the Aspie Side

Seeds of Autism

A social justice mural was vandalized in less than 24 hours after it was painted on the seeds of autism12th of this month in Gainesville, Florida. “It was shocking because Gainesville is a very friendly, open, groovy, inclusive town,” Shirley Lasseter, member of the Gainesville/Ocala chapter of Women’s March Florida, told CNN. And the rest of the country thought, “It’s still the South.”

What is glaringly new is the use of Autism in a political statement. It is so out of place I have to wonder if it doesn’t mean the same thing to the fringe right as everyone else, since they have their own little hate glossary with meanings drawn completely from conspiracy conman Alex Jones or some such place. I’m going to have to dig to find out how they believe this ties together. Perhaps they think liberal values have caused the so-called “autism epidemic”? I had to investigate.

I tested out a bunch of terms starting with “seeds of Autism” since that was the phrase they created. That came up with one BBoard site called Ar15. I’m not linking to their dross. You can google that one yourself if you must. But, the line that stuck with me was one post that asked, “What fun is it trolling the leftist if they are too stupid to understand the joke?” A few other posts list other seemingly unrelated memes about a frog, and I was still perplexed.

Next I googled “‘Autism’ right wing glossary” et voila. Buzzfeed produced. “The Normal Person’s Guide to How the Far Right Troll Talk to Each Other” or “A Glossary of Far Right Terms and Memes”. And, my expected translation was fairly close except it was a trolling joke. So, for all my lefties, here’s how the thought process goes:

NEETS stands for “No Education, Employment, or Training” which self-deprecatingly refers to 4chan’rs that are loony right wing and also live in mom’s basement that spends all day playing video games or on the internet that may be on the spectrum. They call people who work, oddly enough, wagecucks or wage slaves. Unclear how they think the “free market” economy can work if all these twats don’t contribute, but whatever.

REEEEEEE! is the angry shriek of a 4chan’r. “Typically, it’s used to show anger at “normies” for invading their online spaces. There are memes of Pepe the Frog making that noise when he’s angry.” Presumably, Pepe then becomes the image of an angry alt-right loon when a lefty enters their forum.

Pepe the Frog is “A cartoon smiling frog created innocuously by comic artist Matt Furie that has, over time, become the official mascot of far-right extremism in the US and parts of Europe.”

Don’t you feel educated now? So, to sum up, the followers of Pepe, aka NEETs, were accusing the left of causing Autism with our politics to rile us up in some PC froth, but only managed to confuse everyone. Now they are just licking their wounds and blaming us for being too stupid to understand their memes without a f’ing translation. I’d call this a fail for the home team.

Further this has nothing to do with Autism really, good or bad. There’s nothing further to read into it. It’s for the most part been ignored post-CNN coverage, so, of course, I had to understand it, as if making sense of the alt-right is even feasible.

“Am I mad,” as the troll face always asks? No, I find it childish and in amazingly poor taste, but no, I’m not mad. I have plenty of real things in my life that warrant more of my energy, but I am angry that this mural was graffitied. Someone on that BBoard called the mural graffiti and likened the vandalism to the mural itself, as if the two can be equated just because it portrays politics they don’t like. Talk about twisting facts! More alt-facts. I’d like to know if there were any arrests.

Broadly. Talks Working Autistic Women

There’s a rather oddly written article on Broadly. about Aspie women and the workplace. No, I'm kidding.I say oddly for lack of coherent order or argument flow. It appears the intention is to talk of symptoms we women face, but it really is not tied back to one central point because it switches gears between symptoms and an employment organization. That said, I get where she was going: advertisement of the org via article. Got it.

Anywho… The symptoms mentioned are a good place for me to start talk about what I’ve been experiencing because of my workplace. I’ve been working for the government for three years. It’s absolute torture, and I’ve been in and out HR more times than I can count now. If it wasn’t for union protection I would have been fired just for not being the meek, avoidance type. Thankfully I’m not though because they eat people alive.

Because of this I know a lot about Aspie Burnout. I’ve had burnout 3 or 4 times since I started this same job. I’ve been on two medical leaves, both for physical problems, and emotional as well. I’ve had enough of the bullying and mocking, especially when they know full well my diagnosis. EEOC is coming, all I’m gonna say.

Right now I’m in a whole new zone, somewhere beyond burnout, where my vindictive and conniver aka my bitch side comes out. I didn’t want this side to resurface this way, but I am so done with this place I’d nuke it just as a warning to others.
(Because of the world we live in today, no, I would not actually hurt people. Please put the gun down officer.)
I kind of miss the days when I was completely naive to the fact that I even needed to guard my words. I had far more energy. It’s not like I’m even any good at pretending to be normal anyway, no matter how much people tell me I’m “so normal”. Actually, they really want to say, “You’re not different, you’re just an a$$hole,” which is so much easier for them to wrap their teeny, tiny brains around than to try understand what I really go through.

In the newer understanding of female specific “symptoms” there is something called twofaced“masking”.  If you happen to not be familiar, it as studying another girl’s behavior to then mimic her as a way to try to fit in with other girls. Some (or many?) Aspie girls learn to do this to cope. It also costs far more energy than it would for a neurotypical to develop the same skills without a mask.

I never learned this mimicry, which has always been a double-edged sword. I’ve always felt super strongly that we are ethically bound to be open and honest. And now, in my late thirties & early forties, I’ve been fire forged to lose a bit of my naïveté, but gain the patience necessary to find out what people’s motives are, and they aren’t very good I’m finding. It is rather disappointing.

I have also believed in letting one’s freak flag fly, and this is not the exactly the standard business behavior. I have paid over and over for just being myself and hoping people will be accepting, but I am repeatedly disappointed there too. It does hurt the self esteem after a while, and it reinforces the idea either way that who you are is unworthy and people only want to be around mirrors of themselves. This is particularly true in my current office. Trump clones.

I don’t personally have issues with work clothing with the ever present exception of tags! and finding comfortable footwear. I don’t do cute shoes or anything girly really. But, I do struggle to find shoes that will accommodate the shape of my foot.

I wish my parents had encouraged my interests. Instead they’d say every single one as a waste of money. Toys for me were ever a waste of money. My parents let television raise me because it didn’t cost anything extra for them. My mother made a huge show of how wonderfully giving they were just to buy me new clothing at the beginning of the year and that became an excuse to not buy me Xmas or birthday presents. And, they weren’t even poor yet!!  My mother went to Ann Taylor. They went of trips to the Caribbean. And so on.

So, that covers the symptoms they covered in the article. I’ll need to separately add more of my own.